Billy recently told me about a conversation he and his co-workers had while checking in inventory, and I am dying to share it with you!
The conversation ended up going to “if I were rich, what would I do to get fired?” Billy’s answer was awesome, and very Billy. He said “I would use my new Android app of Arnold Schwarzenegger movie quotes to answer customers.” Billy’s boss was quite intrigued, and asked that they role play a conversation to see how this scenario would play out. She quickly made up a character, and began asking Billy things like “this tint is too dark, I want transitions now!” to which Billy used his Arnold app to say “Stop it! Stop whining!”. She then said “stop whining?! how dare you, I’m going to talk to your manager now!” Billy answered “You son of a b word!” Which lead to the customer asking “what’s your name, I’m going to report this!” and Billy replying “I’m detective John Kimble! I’m a cop!” Topped off with “I hope you like fist, because I’m about to ram mine into your stomach!” and then “Whose your daddy, and what does he do?” Billy and his co-workers dissolved into giggles and continued on with their day, but it got me thinking, how would I get myself fired if money wasn’t an issue?
I have a hard time answering that, because I am self-employed as a hairstylist, and I really love the family I work for as a nanny, so I would never want to do anything to get canned from either. There are previous jobs that make me wonder what I could have done to burn my bridges in a blaze of glory though! I might take a page from the white board girl’s book, and take photos of myself with an “I quit” sign and e-mail them to the whole office (if I worked in an office), or if I had a terrible boss, expose them for their dastardly deeds etc. Wait, you don’t know about the white board girl?? Well now you gotta check this out! I think I have been pretty lucky in most of my jobs to have enjoyed what I was doing, and not had too many terrible situations. It doesn’t hurt that I am notorious for completely blocking out any and all bad memories from my brain and not being able to recall them later on. This is the only plus side, as it’s terrible on my memory.
What would you do to get yourself fired if money were not an issue, and burning bridges a viable option???