Recently I got to hang out with my friend Jenn. She is a clever girl and unintentionally funny in a sarcastic and irrelevant way. Our conversation of course came around to her smoking hot body, and how she has recently lost a little weight. I asked her how she did it, to which Jenn replies “I don’t eat anymore.” Dead pan, as if that makes perfect sense and should easily answer my inquiry. Of course I wasn’t satisfied with that answer, and continued to pry. “But really, you can’t just not eat, you have to eat, so how does that work?” I asked. “It’s easy, I just stop eating” she casually replied. “But how do you stop eating?” I entreated. “It’s easy, I just put the fork down” she said.
I was cracking up at this point, knowing she was only half serious and it wasn’t something to worry about. It made me wish I had that kind of self-control, to just put the fork down and stop eating! Life would be a whole lot simpler if I could stop eating. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be banned from making chocolate chip cookies (my diet kryptonite) or cupcakes on a daily basis, because I would be content to just have one, and save the rest. Instead, I will eat a whole batch of cookies, and 6 cupcakes before I get full, and you better believe I am thinking about whatever is left over, obsessing really, until I end up finishing the rest! No. self. control. This is why Billy says I am not allowed to bake unless I have a predetermined agenda for it, so nothing stays in the house and is all pawned off on someone else, and not left to tempt me!